True (trōō)(adj.) : being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
Hamlet, William Shakespeare

I am not being true to myself. In fact tonight I am going to a meeting where I fully intend to lie about how I think a marriage should work to the pastor who is presiding over my wedding. Then at my wedding I plan on lying in church about my marital intent. Does this miss I am having second thoughts? No. What is means is the invitations have already gone out and therefore I am going to suck it up, lie in church and willingly say out loud that the relationship I have with Guy is one of submission when in reality, its not. We are equal partners and companions. That will never change. We respect each other as equals not as leader and follower. I don't need someone to lord over me. I need someone who is going to be there to tough out the bad times and enjoy the good times. I don't need guidance, I need love and friendship. The funny thing about all of this is the fact that getting married in the church has essentially induced in me a crisis of beliefs and has pushed me away from the idea of organized religion altogether. If Jesus really felt about women the way the church preaches then I want nothing to do with Christianity. The most amusing (and possibly the only amusing thing) about this who ridiculous and emotionally detrimental situations is that it could have been avoided. Had I stood my ground and opted to have a really small self funded wedding, most likely a barbecue, outside . Instead we are having a huge, let me repeat huge, wedding inside a church (which makes no sense because neither of us are all that religious) followed by a reception at a beach side resort. I sold out for something I never wanted to begin with and it definitely wasn't worth it. Who would have thought following ignoring Hamlet's advice would get me in this much trouble?

Velveteen (věl'vĭ-tēn') (n.):A cotton pile fabric resembling velvet.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

Bicycle (bī'sĭk'əl)(n): a vehicle with two wheels,propelled by pedals connected to the rear wheel by a chain,and having handlebars for steering

Wedding wise we are at crunch time and this past weekend we started looking at readings. Even though we are having a church wedding we are planning on having at least one reading that's not from the bible. During our search we found this and I thought it was really cute.


Marriage Made for Two:

"A successful marriage can learn a lot from bicycle riding.You should promise each other that you will not be fair weather riders, but venture out together in the wind and the rain. Only by braving the storms as a team will you reap the rewards when the sunshine arrives.Look after each other. A well oiled bike will run smoothly and change gear easily.Marriage is like a tandem…keep pedaling or the one at the front shouts at you!You should promise each other to not only enjoy new adventures and explorations, but appreciate the same old routes you know and love.Marriage is a promise to each other to endure the climbs so that you may chase the swoops and swerves of perfect single track.The journey may be long and may have hills ahead, but if you climb together with love and passion, you will be able to achieve everything you both desire!"

Joker (jō'kər)(n.) :An insolent person who seeks to make a show of cleverness.

"Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren't you? Huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever."-The Joker, The Dark Knight

Every year my family throws a party for the Oscars, to celebrate that which is the the beauty of film, live action and animated a like. This year was just a little different with Spencer being in the hospital but we improvised and threw a shindig at the hospital. The nurses filled out ballots and we had prizes to hand out with. I think it just proves the point that no matter where Spencer is he brings the party with him.

Probably the most justified moment for me, as a lifelong Batman fan, was Heath Ledger's Best Supporting Actor win for his portrayal as the Joker. While, to see The Dark Knight recognized at an award ceremony of this caliber was amazing, it was also a bittersweet moment to see that Heath Ledger was in fact not there to accept the award that he had so genuinely earned. He managed to encompass the Joker to an extent no actor has ever reached before.

Another avid Batman fan, my brother Spencer, posted about it on his blog as well. Check it out here.

Love (lŭv)(n.) : a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

"I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all. No... not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening, but love that... over-throws life. Unbiddable, ungovernable - like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be done, come ruin or rapture. Love - like there has never been in a play."- Viola, Shakespeare in Love

Yesterday. Guy and I celebrated our four year anniversary. I had work in the morning at Starbucks but Guy had the day off so we got a pizza from Costco and stayed in safe from the rain. We watched Shakespeare in Love and took a nap with the dogs. All in all, I have no complaints. We have spent the better half of day together, just lounging about, until I had to go to work at seven. It wasn't very eventful, as it usually is, but we are saving for our grand honeymoon and all. After I get my passport we might take a trip to Mexico for a romantic weekend.

And just because its embarrassing. Guy and I in June of 2005.

Literature (lĭt'ər-ə-chŏŏr')(n.): writings in which expression and form, in connection with ideas of permanent and universal interest

"Do not, under any circumstances, belittle a work of fiction by trying to turn it into a carbon copy of real life; what we search for in fiction is not so much reality but the epiphany of truth." —Azar Nafisi

Wish (wĭsh)(v.): to want; desire; long for

Around this time of year, every year, wish list requests begin to float in. My parents want to know, Nana wants to know, Guy's parents want to know. I often get asked the question, What are you wishing for this holiday season? This year I only have two things to request and they won't fit in the stocking hung on the mantel.

Number One: A quick, easy and successful bone marrow transplant for Spencer. If I get nothing else for Christmas for the rest of my life, this will be enough. To think that this could be to solidified end to his ten year battle with cancer is incredible and such a blessing. And a perfect match? 10 out of 10? What an amazing Christmas gift for our family and friends.

Number Two: A better year in 2009, for myself, Guy and our families who have suffered greatly in the midst of great joy this year. I hope the coming year is full of love, hope and a sense of peace that has at times escaped us in 2008. We have so much to look forward to! Getting married, Spencer's improved health, my graduation from college, a honeymoon in Europe, married life (a double edged sword, or so I've been told) and so much more.

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."-How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss

Interest (ĭn'trĭst)(n.):the feeling of a person whose attention, concern, or curiosity is particularly engaged by something

Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music-the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself. -Henry Miller

Great (grāt) (adj.): notable; remarkable; exceptionally outstanding

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly."
— Albert Einstein

Reader (rē'dər) (noun): One that reads.

'A man should begin with his own times. He should become acquainted first of all with the world in which he is living and participating. He should not be afraid of reading too much or too little. He should take his reading as he does his food or his exercise. The good reader will gravitate to the good books. He will discover from his contemporaries what is inspiring or fecundating, or merely enjoyable, in past literature. He should have the pleasure of making these discoveries on his own, in his own way. What has worth, charm, beauty, wisdom, cannot be lost or forgotten. But things can lose all value, all charm and appeal, if one is dragged to them by the scalp.'
-Henry Miller

Boundary (boun'də-rē)(noun): the line or plane indicating the limit or extent of something

“At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them."
-Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy