"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
Hamlet, William Shakespeare
I am not being true to myself. In fact tonight I am going to a meeting where I fully intend to lie about how I think a marriage should work to the pastor who is presiding over my wedding. Then at my wedding I plan on lying in church about my marital intent. Does this miss I am having second thoughts? No. What is means is the invitations have already gone out and therefore I am going to suck it up, lie in church and willingly say out loud that the relationship I have with Guy is one of submission when in reality, its not. We are equal partners and companions. That will never change. We respect each other as equals not as leader and follower. I don't need someone to lord over me. I need someone who is going to be there to tough out the bad times and enjoy the good times. I don't need guidance, I need love and friendship. The funny thing about all of this is the fact that getting married in the church has essentially induced in me a crisis of beliefs and has pushed me away from the idea of organized religion altogether. If Jesus really felt about women the way the church preaches then I want nothing to do with Christianity. The most amusing (and possibly the only amusing thing) about this who ridiculous and emotionally detrimental situations is that it could have been avoided. Had I stood my ground and opted to have a really small self funded wedding, most likely a barbecue, outside . Instead we are having a huge, let me repeat huge, wedding inside a church (which makes no sense because neither of us are all that religious) followed by a reception at a beach side resort. I sold out for something I never wanted to begin with and it definitely wasn't worth it. Who would have thought following ignoring Hamlet's advice would get me in this much trouble?
22 hours ago
