True (trōō)(adj.) : being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
Hamlet, William Shakespeare

I am not being true to myself. In fact tonight I am going to a meeting where I fully intend to lie about how I think a marriage should work to the pastor who is presiding over my wedding. Then at my wedding I plan on lying in church about my marital intent. Does this miss I am having second thoughts? No. What is means is the invitations have already gone out and therefore I am going to suck it up, lie in church and willingly say out loud that the relationship I have with Guy is one of submission when in reality, its not. We are equal partners and companions. That will never change. We respect each other as equals not as leader and follower. I don't need someone to lord over me. I need someone who is going to be there to tough out the bad times and enjoy the good times. I don't need guidance, I need love and friendship. The funny thing about all of this is the fact that getting married in the church has essentially induced in me a crisis of beliefs and has pushed me away from the idea of organized religion altogether. If Jesus really felt about women the way the church preaches then I want nothing to do with Christianity. The most amusing (and possibly the only amusing thing) about this who ridiculous and emotionally detrimental situations is that it could have been avoided. Had I stood my ground and opted to have a really small self funded wedding, most likely a barbecue, outside . Instead we are having a huge, let me repeat huge, wedding inside a church (which makes no sense because neither of us are all that religious) followed by a reception at a beach side resort. I sold out for something I never wanted to begin with and it definitely wasn't worth it. Who would have thought following ignoring Hamlet's advice would get me in this much trouble?

Gem (jěm)(n.) :Something that is valued for its beauty or perfection

The best thing about San Diego is the multitude of independent business. When it came time for Guy and me to pick out a place to have our rehearsal dinner everyone had something to say about it but no one trusted the local restaurants to know how to handle a party of thirty people. Guy's parents really pushed for Cheesecake Factory but we insisted that if people were coming from all over the world to our beloved San Diego they should get a taste of what our locals had to offer, not something they could get in any medium sized plus city in the US. Guy and I decided that the very best place to showcase our local cuisine would be the Parkhouse Eatery, which also happens to be out very favorite restaurant.

We found Parkhouse completely by accident. In an attempt to widen our perceptions of our fair city on a multiple levels we decided the best place was to start with one of the biological needs, edible sustenance. Guy bought me a ton of random gift certificates for Christmas, one of which just happened to be this cute quirky homey place on Park Boulevard, from which you can see our church. We went, I had blackberry pancakes, he had a lamb burger and we've been going back ever since. We recommend everything. And now we get to share our favorite place with our very closest family and friends.

Our Rehearsal Invitation

Do (dōō)(v.) :to accomplish; finish; complete

Things to Do Before I Go:
Part Two
Numbers Eleven through Twenty.
Part One

• Eleven: Stay in the Ice Hotel
• Twelve: Visit all 50 states
• Thirteen: Plant a garden
• Fourteen: Make bread from scratch
• Fifteen: See the Nile river
• Sixteen: Visit all 7 continents
• Seventeen: Learn to surf
• Eighteen: Go on an overnight backpacking trip
• Nineteen: See the Cubs play at Wrigley Field (again)
• Twenty: Go scuba diving
  

Friday :the sixth day of the week, following Thursday.

Happy Friday! These are some of my favorite Friday songs!

Song (sŏŏng)(n.) :a short metrical composition intended or adapted for singing

More wedding music!


1234 By The Plain White T's


Today by Joshua Radin which I discovered thanks to Ellen and Portia's wedding video which is the one posted directly below this one. Aren't they just the cutest couple? Portia's dress was simply amazing.

College (kŏl'ĭj)(n.):an institution of higher learning

Being on the cusp of twenty-two years of age and college graduation, I am still trying to figure out who I am. Or maybe its just that I have too many. I want to do everything, see everything, experience everything, be everything. I have come to terms with the fact that there are some things I will never be. I will never be six feet tall. I will never be a mathematician. I will never be a cat person. (Don't get me wrong, I like cats even though they make my eyes itch, burn and swell closed, but as much as I like all fur covered, four footed things, I just prefer the undying loyalty and adoration that only a dog can give). I have a much harder time coming to terms with that fact there are things I want to do that I might not have the chance to do. There are many uncertainties and questions that are beginning to arise. There are also I whole lot of things that begin with "I want to..." that are coming to mind.

One thing I do know (or at least know that I don't know) is after four years of college I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, so I'm going to graduate school to give myself more time. Now of course I must decide where I want to go and what I want to do. Is it worth the money? Will I ever graduate with my master's degree? Am I motivated enough to finish. Am I smart enough to get in?

Some possible answers....
+San Diego State University has an amazing children's literature program where I would get to spend most of my days delving into the beauty and complexity of children's literature.

Pros: 1:Wouldn't have to move to some far away place where I don't know anyone and my family is still close b. 2:In state tuition. 3:Guy can stay at his current job which he loves more than he thought he could ever love a job.

Cons: 1:If I do decide I want to get a PhD it looks better if you go to a different school. 2:I really want to move away from San Diego. 3:I have no job lined up here 4:We both feel it may be one of our only realistic opportunities to move out of California.

+ SJSU Library Science Program online
Pros: 1: Online so I would be able to work full time while getting my degree 2:I love my job at the library now and could see myself making a career out of it. 3:Wouldn't have to move and Guy could keep his job

Cons: 1:Much more expensive than actually attending SDSU. 2:The degree does not offer up teaching potential like the children's literature program would 3:I worry that without the in class interaction I will not be motivated

+Art Institute of Pittsburgh Online Photography
Pros: 1:I have always wanted pursue photography professionally 2:The program is online and thus I would be able to work while obtaining my career 3:I already own most of the required equipment

Cons: 1:Out of state tuition 2:Its a longer program, another four years 3:Not really a graduate program 4:Has nothing to do with my current degree

+A two year vet tech program at the local community college
Pros: 1:I have always wanted to work with animals 2:Job ready right out of school 3:Possibly cheaper vet care for the pups.

Cons: 1:Yet another program that has nothing to do with my current degree 2:Makes my current degree one epic waste of time