Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Rules (rōōl) (noun): An authoritative, prescribed direction for conduct

Today I broke all my own rules. I cried. I wasted an entire day with my head in a book that I was reading solely for the purpose of wallowing in a deep mire of self-pity. I ate things that leave sharp uncomfortable crumbs on my sheets knowingly and will undoubtedly complain about it later. I let my dog eat straight off my plate , after I was done of course. I yelled at my mother for things that were in no way her fault. I ordered pizza for dinner and plan to allow myself to eat at least three pieces accompanied by one tall cold glass of non-diet mountain dew. I pouted to get what I wanted. And in one last glorious attempt at making myself feel better I am writing this for all world to read, which means I will have made a complete rotation through the entirety of my vices, or the ones which I am aware of, in a single day.

The pizza eating has occurred and I would just like to announce that it did indeed become 4 pieces of pizza along with 2 bread sticks and no mountain dew.

Everyday I say tomorrow I will start over. I will reinvent my mind, my body, my life. Everyday I say tomorrow and and every tomorrow I promise myself the same thing. Will tomorrow be my real new beginning? I doubt it. I have no motivation. I feel myself getting lazier and lazier. I haven't been to the gym in months. Everyday I eat too much of everything thats bad for me. I just don't care. Not caring is breaking the rules too.


TechnoBabe said...

We all do that, don't we? We get disappointed in ourselves, act out in our own self defeating ways, and then are so grateful to get to start over the next day.

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